he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We left the knife in your bed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
