Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
