john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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