smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
