He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
