The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
