I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
