good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
