I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
