I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
