I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
