I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
