I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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