he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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