Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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