Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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