So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He shit in the fireplace
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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