white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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