just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
