Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just found puke in my bra..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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