The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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