I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
