Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
