smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
