Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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