i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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