Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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