Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
