I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
