Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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