...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize