so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
