TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize