No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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