My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Ketchup is God's man juice
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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