How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
