Non-Jews are for practice
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
