You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
