I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
