I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
