When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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