is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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