ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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