Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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