Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
