he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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