The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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