Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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