you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So vagazzling was a success
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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