I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize