i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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