I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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