You work out of a Hotel?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
