I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
