By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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