You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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