Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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