i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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