walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
